


Pulling Against the Stream

by amelia_kalena



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kili in love, Thorin being Thorin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-23 22:56:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2558807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amelia_kalena/pseuds/amelia_kalena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being separated from a loved one has its consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pulling Against the Stream

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt in this fandom. Be honest, but kind please!  
> Title taken from a lyric in Mr. Probz "Waves."

Kili paced the throne room with impatient steps. His uncle had called a meeting with himself, Kili, and Fili to take place immediately after the council’s weekly gathering. Thorin had been quiet and reserved in his reasoning behind the sudden assembly, but Kili had an idea why the king desired an audience. 

It was about him. For the last three months, since the Battle of the Five Armies ended and he had been torn away from his One, he had been slowly slipping into a state of illness. No, it was not physical ailments that plagued him; it was a sickness of the heart and mind caused by being too long without the woman he loved. 

Simply put: he ached for Tauriel. He longed for his beloved like nothing else on Middle Earth. In all his life, Kili knew no other soreness like the pain that constantly stabbed at his heart. Almost every night he dreamed of his elven love. Her long fiery tresses slipping through his fingertips like molten sunshine. Her dimpled smile that left him weak in the knees; her low sultry voice, teasing yet filled with tenderness whispering wanton endearments into his ears. 

Kili would say, until the day he entered the Halls of Waiting, that he never intended to give his heart to someone other than a dwarrow. He knew his looks made him less than desirable among his female kin, but what he lacked in dwarven heredity he made up with charm, wit, courage, and loyalty. He had hoped one day he would be able to catch the eye of a cute dwarrow and she would fall completely in love with him despite his physical attributes.

Tauriel had seen him for who he was. She knew next to nothing of dwarven customs, so what his race saw in Kili as lacking, she only saw strength. What others saw in Kili as recklessness, she saw ambition driven by compassion. While others scoffed at the lack of his beard, Tauriel saw him as handsome and breath taking, igniting a desire in her like no other. In the time between his recovery at Laketown and the commencement of the Battle (and everything in between and after), they had grown more in love with each other, a connection forged and solidified through laughter, tears, and a recognition that they both yearned for love even though they were seen as outcasts among their own races. 

Kili considered all of this as he paced before the throne. Suddenly a side door leading to a smaller council room opened and King Thorin and Fili stepped into the hall. Fili smiled at him and Thorin nodded once.

“Hello Kili”. Fili greeted his younger brother with a crushing hug.

Shame flooded the dark-haired dwarrow. He knew that his behavior and mood worried his older brother. Fili tried often to draw Kili out if his stormy gloom with sparing challenges, drinking games, and lewd jokes, but nothing he did could get the younger dwarrow to smile like he once did, easy going and carefree. Kili was just too distraught, too uncertain of his future to be persuaded to a lighter heart.

“Fili.” Kili returned his brother’s greeting with a smile of his own as he pulled away and clasped the older prince’s shoulders good-naturedly. 

Thorin, never one to beat around the bush, sat on his throne and cleared his throat.

“No doubt, nephew, you are wondering why you have been called to this meeting.” The king directed his comments toward Kili.

“Aye, Uncle, I was wondering.” Kili cut his eyes quickly to Fili, but to his consternation, his brother quickly looked away, not meeting his eyes or giving any hint at what was to come of this conversation.

Kili’s brow screwed into a look of confusion, but before he could ask his older brother if he was okay, Thorin addressed him again.

“Kili, your brother and I are worried about you. Since we have reclaimed Erebor, you have not been yourself. You barely laugh. You do your duties without complaint or sarcastic remark--” Fili snorted at this part because he knew Kili could become very agitated while dealing with dignitaries. Fili cleared his throat quickly and remained quiet on the matter. 

Thorin continued. “You mope around as if the mountain still belonged to the dragon! At dinner you barely speak and when you do, you murmur only a few words.”

The more Thorin spoke, the harsher and louder his voice became. “I will not have you sulking around like this any longer. It is imperative that as we seek to rebuild our home, the crown princes appear jovial, good-natured. And sincere…”

At this Kili chuckled, though it was a mirthless laugh. “You admitted yourself, Uncle, that I carry out my duties as prince without complaint. I fail to see what the issue is. I am here, I am present. What more could you want?

“Your happiness!” Fili suddenly cut in. “If you would but act like you are not serving out a life sentence of imprisonment, then we would not worry so. As Uncle has said, you have not been yourself. You will not tell me what ails you, fine. I understand you are not a child therefore your feelings are your own and not subject to the scrutiny of others. But brother, this has got to stop. Why are you so unhappy? Please tell us what saddens you so. You know you can trust us with your innermost thoughts. We have always relied on one another. Why not unload your burdens onto us, so that we may help you carry them.”

Kili looked from his uncle to his brother. His shame from earlier only intensified but under that simmered a deep river of bitterness and anger. Did they really not know?! It was Thorin who ordered Kili never to see Tauriel again and it was Fili who stood by and said nothing as Kili tried to reason with his uncle to let him keep Tauriel, to let them be together.

Kili sighed and wiped his hand over his eyes and down his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but Thorin spoke first.

“It is that she-elf. Isn’t it? You still yearn for her.” It wasn’t a question and Thorin hadn’t raised his voice but Kili still took offence.

“Tauriel. Her name is Tauriel. And yes, I am deeply in love with her.” Kili didn’t stop over the gasps of his king and brother, but plowed on. 

“You see, your majesty, she is my One. She is who I want to spend my life with. I want her to be mother to my children and I want her to reside here next to me. I want her smiles and her laughter and I want her free to come and go as she pleases, not trapped in a wooden prison serving a cold king.”

Thorin looked as if he had been struck. His anger seethed through his next words. “This. This infatuation ends here.” 

Kili was having none of it. He barged on as if his uncle had not said a word.

“You keep us apart!” He seethed. “Half of my heart and you want me to deny her! I have been nothing but the faithful nephew. I have been chased, almost eaten by trolls and goblins, poisoned with arrows, I have fought and survived a dragon and my first war. Yet this—love for someone outside my race, is what I am denied. I am alone and lonely now—my rights taken from me. All because I dared love an elf! An elf who accepts me for who I am despite the ocean of reasons for her not to! 

I am done. I am completely done with this conversation. You have molded me into your crown prince and I have let it happened. You have taken my One away from me and I have let it happened. But I will not let you take my feelings, my love for Tauriel away from me. I will not let you cheapen what we have with attempts to dissuade me from loving her. I am done.” 

Toward the end of his speech, Kili’s voice had begun to crack with tears. He was not ashamed to let them be seen because he had cried so much for his lost lover in the last three months that the tears were right at home on his cheeks. 

He turned his back on the stunned faces of his kin and walked briskly out of the throne room. He did not stop nor look back when Fili called after him.

 

Thorin and Fili looked at the heavy double doors that closed resolutely after Kili’s exit. 

Fili spoke first. “We have---we’ve ruined him.” He whispered. 

Thorin did not respond for a long moment. Fili turned to look at his uncle and for once he was not proud of him. Nor was he proud of himself. Fili would not deny that he was down right appalled if not a little disgusted by his brother’s love for the she—Tauriel. But he could not turn a blind eye to the elation she caused him. And if he was honest with himself, which he always wasn’t, he liked her. She was an excellent warrior, kind, and levelheaded. She perfectly balanced his little brother in temperament, but she didn’t baby him. Her eyes, when she beheld Kili, gazed at him in wonderment and such deep love. In the short time that Fili had watched the two interact, there was no doubt how real their endearment for each other was. Fili, so silent in his opinions in the past, was not going to go a moment longer with his thoughts not being known on the matter. 

“Would it be so bad, Uncle, if they were united together? If it meant his happiness and an end to his sorrow?” Fili wasn’t expecting an answer, in fact, he was ready to argue the point quite extensively. So he was surprised when his king gave him one.

“I am going to tell you something, Fili, and I want you to keep this between us. In anticipation of this meeting, two days ago, I sent a raven to King Thranduil. I used the guise of wanting to set up a series of meetings to reestablish trade and goodwill between our two kingdoms. But in actuality, I wanted to measure how much he knew of his captain’s feelings for our Kili. In my missive, I asked that he extend my gratitude once again to his Captain of the Guard for saving our young one.”

Fili was sure his jaw was hanging to the ground by now, so he said nothing and only nodded his head.

“Of course the elf saw through my ruse because in his return message to me, he spoke briefly that the she—Tauriel was fading. She has not been on duty for the last two months.”

At this bit of information, Fili’s legs could no longer support his body and he collapsed on the bottom step that led to the dais where the king’s throne stood. 

“Oh Mahal. She is dying.” Fili felt his entire being vibrate, shift and shake as he realized what this would mean for Kili. He knew what the elf’s passing would do to his brother.

Fili glanced warily at his uncle. In a low voice he spoke: “You knew this, yet you still demanded that Kili stay away from her?” 

Fili turned suddenly and stood before his uncle. “You must stop this. You must put an end to his misery. If she dies, Kili will never forgive us and he will hate himself. We have to save her. We have to give her Kili.” Fili’s words were spoken fiercely and without hesitation. 

Thorin was many things. Cold, firm, and as constant and unyielding as the stone that made up his mountain home. But he also loved his nephews as if they were his sons. He had helped his sister raise them, and he had promised to always watch over their well being on the quest to reclaim Erebor. Fili and Kili had fought valiantly and with great bravery along his side. And if Thorin was honest with himself, which he made a point to always be, he had those two to thank for saving his life during the Battle. And when it was time to rebuild their kingdom, they both took on tasks and duties that were more suited for courtiers, not heirs to the throne. Kili, though heart-sick, really had come into his own in the last few months since the war. He had been essential in the development of relations between Dale and Erebor, his people loved him and he was a warrior. Kili, more than anyone or maybe just the same as anyone deserved what his heart so longed for. 

Thorin raised his hand to quiet his nephew, who was about ready to launch into a heated speech in Kili’s defense. “I merely wanted to be certain that the cause of his dejection was in fact his absence from Tauriel. This cannot be a passing fancy, Fili.” 

Fili, placing his hands on his hips, rolled his eyes and blew out a puff of air at his uncle’s antics. 

“I want a raven sent to Thaundril immediately requesting an audience with himself and his captain. Do it now, Fili.” Who knew what consequences would be born from this decision, how the future would unfold pointing forward, but he had seen what was left in the wake of keeping Kili and Tauriel apart and Thorin was determined to right things. Not as King Under the Mountain, but as a father who loved his son. 

It took a few seconds for Fili to comprehend his uncle, but when he did, his face broke into a wide grin. He stood and saluted. “Right away, your majesty.”

 

Kili combed and braided his own hair as he watched himself in the mirror. It had been two days since his…conversation? Argument? Disagreement? Between him and his uncle. Now Thorin had requested that he meet in the throne room this morning just after dawn to receive some very important guests.

Kili didn’t even question his uncle. Just sighed and assumed it was business as usual. How foolish had he been to think his impassioned words would stir his uncle’s heart. He looked himself over one last time before he turned and exited his rooms.

 

Kili smiled tightly at his brother and gave a curt nod to Thorin as he took his place beside the king’s throne.

Once they were in place, Thorin gave the signal and the double doors were thrust open to admit a group of elves. 

Kili immediately perked up when he saw the familiar blond hair of Thranduil and Legolas. For a moment he could do nothing but gape like a fish. The two elves proceeded into the cavernous room, trying to cover their awe at the gilded gold arches and jewel encrusted walls with distaste. 

Kili was just about to turn and give a questioning look to Thorin, when his eye caught a flash of red. 

Until the day he died, Kili would admit that his world stopped. Literally stopped. For his heart and mind could not accept what he was actually seeing. 

It was Tauriel. Dressed in a green velvet gown and looking wan but solid as her liege and his son stepped to the side to let her through. For a split second, her expression was confused. But when she saw Kili, standing across the room everything come into sharp focus.

Until the day she died, Tauriel would admit that her world sped up. She walked forward quickly and stumbled as her heart and mind understood what she was seeing. She caught herself before she could fall and broke into a run toward the throne, to Kili. 

Tauriel’s stumble had snapped Kili out of his daze and the young prince jumped the three steps from the throne and ran straight for his beloved. 

Right before she got to Kili, Tauriel fell to her knees, sliding herself across the marble floor putting her a few inches shorter than him when their bodies collided.

They grasped for each other at the same time, both clawing the other as they tried to embrace, tried to get their bodies closer. Kili grasped Tauriel’s face between his hands and begin to place sloppy and wet kisses all over her face. Through her tears Tauriel laughed as she tried to grab his chin to direct his lips to hers. 

Uncontrollably his native language fell from his lips, praising Mahal for bringing his One back to him. For Tauriel in his arms, a point he especially recognized because he was not going to let her go anytime soon. His whole body shook with his relief at being reunited with her and it left him weak and almost delirious. Tauriel sensing his difficulty pulled him down and cradled his head against her chest. She placed heavy kisses to his brow and hair and murmured his name over and over again, even as Kili smiled through his tears and continued to thank his maker.

Fili, beside himself with emotion, let out a watery chuckle as he watched the reunion. Neither Tauriel nor Kili looked up or gave any indication of interest to anyone besides each other when the two kings and two princes left the throne hall for the smaller council room. 

Once seated each of the males took a moment to settle themselves after the dramatic events just witnessed in the other room.

Thorin cleared his throat and spoke firmly and not without a bit of mirth. “So. The dwarrow ceremony will take place this summer with the elven celebrations to follow in the fall.”

Fili chortled again, Legolas rolled his eyes, and Thranduil glared at the dwarf King. 

Close relations between the two kingdoms were no longer an option, but a most joyously assured necessity!


End file.
